so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
