I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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