walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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