The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think people are normalizing furries
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize