being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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