i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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