So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
