I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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