I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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