Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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