So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
