Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
