I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
