Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
