I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
