Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
