she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
