Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
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We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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