You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
