all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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