Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize