I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
