playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
