Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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