She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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