Just fell off a train. Bad.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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