Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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