You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You made out with two different species that night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
