Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
