it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
