Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
