My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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