you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
50% drunk capacity currently
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
