i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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