worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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