it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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