if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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