loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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