I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
