I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
