drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
