Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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