Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
