I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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