In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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