your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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