DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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