if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
