if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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