Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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