they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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