at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
