I'm really into asian looking animals
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
