hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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