I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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