At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
