Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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