Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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