yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
